I have been thinking much about Matt 18 lately. The exposure of abuse from several leaders has focused fresh attention on Jesus’ instructions in this important passage, especially since many have called for a “Matt 18 process” rather than public exposure.
So here I offer five thoughts I believe are relevant to this point for the church.
First, leaders with credible accusations of abuse against them should not insist on “Matt 18” for help. Their appeal to “Matt 18” is not as wise, helpful, nor even as “biblical” as they think it is—at least, it is not “biblical” in the way they want it to be.
No, “Matt 18” is “biblical” in a way these leaders actually should not want.
They often appeal to “Matt 18” generally, without specifying the verses they feel apply. All they really want is one part of Matt 18—the part where Jesus instructs one church member to confront another church member in private. That is the section where Jesus teaches on confronting sin in the church, and it begins all the way down in verse 15.
These leaders grumble for the “due process” found there. But experience tells us that they really only want to get their accusers alone, manipulate them further, and thereby keep their sins covered from the larger body. Of course, that is not biblical “due process.” It is rather a form of continued abuse against the victims, and even injustice against the entire church.
Jesus hardly envisioned this selfish—frankly, obscene—misuse of his instructions when he laid them out. In fact, he intended the exact opposite. The larger context makes this clear, as we will see below. So I doubt Jesus appreciates those leaders who rip that one section out of context only to weaponize it against the very people it was meant to protect.
Memo to abusers: “Matt 18” does not begin in verse 15.
It begins, well, exactly where you’d expect it to begin—in verse one. (Math is not always hard.) So that is where we all should start reading.
The confrontation process of verses 15-17 is meant to be read in sequence with the previous teaching. When we read that passage within its context, its meaning becomes more clear… and less hospitable to abusers.
If accused leaders would read the first section carefully, and really let its contents sink in, they would realize that, in Jesus’ own words, the “process due” abusers does not begin with a private confrontation.
It begins with a millstone and a large body of water.
Or more accurately, according to Jesus, it begins with a divine judgment worse than a millstone and water.
And before that, Jesus calls the entire church, especially leaders, to change and become like children. Again, that further sets the tone for everything that follows. But I will expound that point below.
Leaders accused of abuse like to play hopscotch with Jesus’ first instructions in Matt 18. But when they do, they put themselves in danger. That’s why I don’t recommend that they invoke “Matt 18” in support of themselves.
Because by doing so, they jump over the judgment warning right into a private confrontation that they can control. But that is the opposite of what Jesus is teaching in the unabridged version of “Matt 18,” which is the version we should all be reading.
When I hear abusive leaders crying out for “Matt 18,” I hear them crying out for this:
…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes! … See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven. (Matt 18:6-10)
To me, that is what abusive leaders are invoking over themselves when they pine for the “Matt 18 due process.”
I would not recommend that. Full, thorough repentance would be better.
Bad leaders cherry-pick the passages that serve their agenda. Good leaders submit to all the passages that reflect God’s agenda.
My main point is this. Jesus never demanded that the vulnerable and mistreated face their abusers in private. No, when addressing abusers, Jesus simply warned of coming judgment.
End of subject.
Then in the next section, and indeed in the rest of the chapter, Jesus offers instructions for his “little ones” who have been converted into children and made themselves equal to one another. So all the following instructions about confronting sin are not for the abusers of the little ones; they are only for the little ones.
Let’s go further back in the unabridged version of Matt 18. It begins by teaching the disciples to “be converted and become like children” (v 3). Again, all ensuing instruction in Matt 18 flows from that statement. And it assumes that statement as the community’s defining characteristic: children who refuse the social and political power to exploit one another. From that point forward, Jesus teaches his people as if they are all vulnerable children, humble ones without rank and without power over one another. He calls them “children” (v 3), “little ones” (vv 6, 10, 14), “brothers [and sisters]” (vv 15, 21), and “fellow slaves” (v 28).
His message is clear. The church of God’s Lamb consists totally of little lambs. No matter what power they have upon entering the community, or even receive after entering, that power must be submitted exclusively to God’s Spirit and purposes, and managed by “little ones” who know their power is to serve, not exploit.
Put another way, one of the essential attributes of the church is its pronounced lack of abusers.
And Jesus in fact teaches just that, right there in the famed “Matt 18” passage. It’s in clear, red letters.
Yet in this same passage, Jesus does address the possibility of an abuser emerging among his flock. He just doesn’t say much more about that—only that the abusive person one day will wish, really wish, he had not used his power to harm others.
So I repeat: Jesus’ confrontation process is not offered to abusers; it is offered exclusively to a flock of “little ones.”
By the time we get to that confrontation process, violators have already been towed.
They are out of the picture. They are detained back in verse 6 and awaiting judgment.
Is there any hope for them? I believe there is—if there is any room in their hearts to start over in Matt 18 and “be converted and become like children.” That fresh start would include getting out of leadership (positions of power) completely, admitting all of the abuse they committed, making everything right with those they hurt, and submitting to a local congregation for a process of restoration.
Unfortunately, that does not seem to be the normal M.O. of such persons.
Yet if they are willing to repent truly, then the fruit of their repentance would be borne in their transparent and radical response. They would demonstrably go back to the beginning of Matt 18 and start over. But that is rarely seen.
In my view, the protocol for confronting abusers is not found in Matt 18. It is found elsewhere, while Matt 18 focuses on the need to be like children, as well as the severe warning against those who dare exploit those children.
So seriously: abusive leaders should not whine about not receiving the “due process” found in “Matt 18.” They really shouldn’t.
Second, Jesus’ concept of “abuse” in this passage refers to people with power who selfishly take advantage of people with less power.
“Matt 18” begins by specifically addressing church leaders. They are the powerful ones in this context. I say this because Jesus’ teaching in the whole chapter is a response to the question of his disciples, specifically “the twelve” (Mark 9:35), who will both give and model leadership to future generations.
Their leadership question: “Who is the greatest?”
But Jesus sees their question as leaven he must remove immediately—thus his ensuing instructions. He recognized the possibility that leaders, even those called by God, can defile their calling by seeking more power and choosing to use that power to fleece the sheep. That is why Jesus launches into his teaching about children in response to their question.
The fact that God chooses certain people as leaders does not preclude the possibility that they could become arrogant, dishonest, and selfish, using their God-given power to fulfill their own lusts at the expense of those they are called to serve (Ezek 34).
Good people can become abusers. And bad people who infiltrate the flock as wolves in sheep’s clothing, are already abusers. That is why leadership is such an important and challenging issue, why leaders are held to high standards, and why abusive leaders cannot and should not expect the protocol reserved only for the meek.
Still, official leadership is not the only way to have potential power over others. People may possess natural charisma, high social status, influential positions in business, high intelligence, or the ability to persuade through speech. These are all forms of power.
People with various kinds of power have the potential to influence others for good or bad.
This is actually a significant theme throughout Scripture. Many other passages address power differentials among God’s people. Paul, for example, deals with the “strong versus the weak” throughout Romans and 1 Corinthians.
In particular, read this passage closely. It’s crucial for the topic at hand:
For if someone sees you, who have knowledge, dining in an idol’s temple, will not his conscience, if he is weak, be strengthened to eat things sacrificed to idols? For through your knowledge he who is weak is ruined, the brother for whose sake Christ died. And so, by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble. (1 Cor 8:10-13, emphasis added)
These are stunning words. (I believe Paul is actually expounding on Jesus’ own warnings in Matt 18.)
It is essential for the church to understand this passage during a time when God is exposing abusive leaders and the systems that protect them.
Powerful people have the potential to compel vulnerable people into sinful or harmful actions against their original will.
“The strong” can actually influence “the weak” to do things they would not otherwise do.
If it can happen when a weaker member merely sees a stronger member eating idol-meat in a pagan temple, how much more can it happen if the stronger member intentionally, methodically, and systematically prepares a weaker member to sin for his personal lust.
Note Paul’s terminology: a stronger person can “strengthen” the conscience of a weaker person to do something that, in the end, actually violates the weaker person’s conscience.
The word for “strengthen” here also means to “edify” or “build.” Paul is clearly using the term ironically. The stronger person is not really making the weaker person “strong” in the righteous or healthy sense. Rather, the stronger person is temporarily coercing the weaker person to do something against his or her own conscience.
The strong one is “building”—or, perhaps we can say “making” or even “converting”—a weaker one into something he or she is not, preparing that person to do something he or she would never otherwise do. While all are called to be converted and become mutually weak children, abusers convert others to do their will.
The weaker person will then commit sin in the short term, under the pressure of the stronger person’s influence. But later, that weaker person will suffer, because his or her real conscience would not allow the behavior. The “strengthening” was a false strength—like the artificial energy from sugar or caffeine that later causes a crash.
So, the weaker person was yielding to the stronger person’s manipulation, not to his or her own conscience. Meanwhile, the stronger person was using his strength to take advantage of the weak, rather than protect the weak. Under his strength, she does things she would never have done by herself.
Then she crashes.
How does Paul describe this effect on weaker persons? He says it “ruins” or “destroys” them, it is a “sin” against them, it “wounds” them, and it “causes them to stumble.”
Yes, this is real. All leaders should pay heed.
True power can only be handled by meekness and servanthood. When it is used to serve itself, it will later be unable to save itself from the wrath of the one with all the power—and all the meekness.
It is significant that Paul does not blame the injured brother or sister.
He blames the abuser.
These are serious violations—serious abuses of power. They describe someone taking possession of someone else and using him or her for selfish reasons. This is terribly evil and unbelievably dangerous.
It is why, thankfully, some leaders today continue to speak up for survivors and the church, not yielding to those who continue to use their power to protect abusers.
Those unwilling to repent of their abuse, and who continue to lie and insert themselves as leaders in the body of Christ, should not be thinking about their next ministry invitations or videos right now.
They should be thinking about Jesus’ warning of divine judgment.
And those who accept them back without full repentance, and those who continue to support their ministries, and those with authority who endorse them back into ministry, should be ashamed of themselves. They have done a terrible disservice to survivors and the body of Christ. They should repent publicly and step down from ministry. They are participants in abuse.
Third, there are in fact power differentials in the church. Jesus himself created equity at the beginning of Matt 18. But he did this knowing there would still be people in the church with more power than others. He created a dynamic tension meant to build a church of extraordinary love, deep humility, and true safety for the weak.
We just saw this dynamic tension illustrated graphically in 1 Cor 8, which is precisely why Jesus gave his teaching in Matt 18. He wants people with power to become little ones, to take whatever power they possess to love and serve others, not devour others (2 Cor 11:20; Gal 5:15).
The disciples each wanted to be greater than the other, to be the highest ranking leader. They already had power and wanted more. They wanted more status. They wanted more honor.
Yet this was precisely not why Jesus was investing them with power.
Jesus indeed concedes that there will be people with more power than others. In fact, he made it that way. But why do those with power possess that power? To obtain even more? To seek their own honor and be recognized for the sake of social status?
No. One hundred times, No.
According to Jesus—the one who himself “existed in the form of God” and then “emptied himself” to serve others with his power—these people should…
“Be converted and become like children!”
Become like those without status. Without power. Without leverage. The strong should lead the way in lowering themselves, joining everyone in being vulnerable and needy, equalizing the playing field. No one should be part of the church and use his or her power over others.
We are all little ones.
Those with power to lead—spiritually or naturally—should recognize that such power is meant to serve the weak from a posture below them as servants, not to dominate them from a posture above them as masters (Matt 20:24-28; 23:1-12).
Indeed, those with the most strength should be the most humble. Those with the most influence should be the most generous. Those with the greatest charisma and the clearest voices should be the most vehement advocates for the vulnerable.
The weak should feel protected by the strong, not exploited by the strong.
Matt 18 is written to equalize the playing field and get the strong into the position of the lowly. If they refuse to go there, but rather employ their power to use and abuse the vulnerable, the Lord says they will come under such severe judgment, they would prefer to have been wearing a massive, millstone necklace and tossed into the deepest ocean.
Power differentials exist to honor the God of all power, who lowered himself as the God of all weakness. Paul understood this when he said, “when I am weak, then I am strong.” And Jesus understood it when he said, “I am among you as one who serves.”
He also understood it when he said, “See to it that you do not despise one of these little ones.”
Leaders, take heed. Powerful, beware.
Abusers, repent—then get out of leadership.
Fourth, the “due process” Jesus teaches in Matt 18:15-17 is for pursuing a sheep who has gone astray; it is not for confronting abusers. (I know I mentioned this point above, but there a few things to add here.)
We should not expect a vulnerable person, who has been manipulated and hurt by a stronger person, to treat her abuser as an equal. She is not obligated to confront him in private. That is not safe.
And it is not biblical.
As I said above, members of the church who use their power to hurt others for their own ends are not qualified for the “due process” described in Matt 18:15-17. Such abusers are not “straying sheep”; they are hazardous people who need a different process than the one given to the little lambs in Matt 18.
However, sometimes fellow sheep do stray from the fold. Sometimes the children sin. They are the ones God pursues as a Shepherd through the “due process” in Matt 18. That is why the process starts so privately, discreetly, gently, yet still transparently. It is perfect for a straying sheep.
Sadly, straying sheep do not always want to come back into the fold. Jesus teaches us to give them every opportunity through his “due process.” But if they reject that process, then they must be put out of the community. They have refused to stop wandering. The church must protect itself from the toxicity of sin that comes even through straying “little ones” who are not willing to repent after Jesus’ wholesome process of appeal.
Still, these are straying or lost sheep, not abusers.
If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother. (2 Thess 3:14-15)
Sometimes straying sheep do become lost sheep. But they are not wolves who have sought to abuse the sheep. When a straying sheep does come back, when he or she responds positively to the “due process” in Matt 18, Jesus then offers a lengthy parable on forgiveness for the restoration of that sheep back into the fold (Matt 18:21-35; see also 2 Cor 2:5-11).
Fifth, I believe there is biblical recourse to confront leaders accused of abuse. We just don’t find it in the “Matt 18 process.” Jesus only speaks of potential judgment there, which is both sobering—and revealing.
Unfortunately, those who have used their power to hurt others are rarely entreated easily. This is especially true if they have been doing it and getting away with it for a long time, protected by their own ministry system.
I would suggest, therefore, that the following Scripture passage applies to the way we should handle abusive leaders, or those accused of abuse:
We, the Powerful, ought to carry the weaknesses of the Powerless, and not to please ourselves. (Rom 15:1)
This passage mainly speaks to the way those with power should relate to those without power: they should help them, not despise or use them. As I said above, that is the whole point of having power.
However, the principle in this passage also offers excellent pastoral advice on how to confront abusers. When a “Powerless” person is abused by a leader, he or she should seek advocates from among the “Powerful” who actually have regard for the weak. Or, the “Powerful” should be consistently present and sensitive enough to the “Powerless,” that they can take the initiative and help.
Weaker ones do not go to their abusers in private. They should rather seek good people with voice and strength who can speak for them, advocating for them in confronting their abusers.
The Powerful should help the Powerless carry their load.
Powerful people who abuse others need to hear from other powerful people with integrity, who care for others, and who have enough humility to use their power for others and not themselves. These are the people who are strong enough to have influence, but who are humble enough to help Jesus’ little lambs.
In my view, this is the only biblical “due process” in cases of abuse. Good people among the powerful need to confront the abusers on behalf of the weak. If the abusers continue to lie, obfuscate, cite “Matt 18,” or make podcasts of shrill self-defense, then the righteous Powerful should use whatever tools they have to call them out.
It’s not that complicated.
It is the only way to protect the weak, seek justice for them, help the church, and also possibly give the abusers a chance to repent.
The voices of the strong in Rom 15:1 may not be heeded by the elite establishment, but God will honor them.
Here is the true role of the Powerful:
Speak up for those who have no voice, for the justice of all who are dispossessed. Speak up, judge righteously, and defend the cause of the oppressed and needy. (Prov 31:8-9)
This is why Paul instructed Timothy to address sinning elders directly, as a fellow leader, and then to go public if they persist in sin (1 Tim 5:19-20). Confronting someone with leadership power required another leader with power.
Paul tells Timothy not to “receive” an accusation against an elder unless it is corroborated by two or three witnesses. That protects the elders from false accusations. But it also tells us that the “Matt 18 process” is not being followed precisely here. Timothy is being told things by witnesses about another leader. This way, one powerful person can then confront another powerful person based on those witnesses.
Then he can take it public if it comes to that.
Notice that Paul gives this instruction for elders in any kind of sin, not just abuse—though the “sin” would presumably be disqualifying sin per 1 Tim 3. Yet Paul also expects Timothy to be involved from the beginning. This is because elders are people of power. So they need other people of power, like Timothy, to help handle accusations and then, if necessary, to take it to the church for judgment.
If this is the course of action for any serious sins, how much more if the sin is abuse of the vulnerable!
How dare the abusive demand to meet with their accusers in private… and call that biblical.
Pick on someone your own size.
(Who is coming, by the way.)
One of the modern church’s great deficiencies is leaders of power who will stand for the weak, vulnerable, and abused. We are not lacking “due process,” so much as we are lacking real leaders of integrity and strength, who use their power to help the weak instead of use them to build their own ministry empires and fulfill their lusts.
May God raise up Christ-like leaders, and in turn, raise up a Christ-like church, in our generation.